How Is It That Pillows Are Still Legal?

Last Saturday night (February 23, 2008), at the Libertarian Party of California's state convention, LP presidential candidate George Phillies hosted a hospitality suite for California delegates. Here he greeted and glad-handed them, offered wine and cheese, discussed his policy proposals, and answered questions.


Little did Phillies know that, in the very next room, a heated debate over an especially controversial by-laws provision had erupted into violence!


Before the eyes of terrified onlookers, Libertarian Party national Vice Chair Chuck Moulton and LNC At-Large Representative Angela Keaton became engaged in a savage pillow fight!


The two combatants lashed out with their death pillows, while shrieking competing interpretations of Roberts Rules of Order.


Fearing that hostilities may escalate into soft cushions and comfy chairs, libertarian onlookers began debating (1) whether the use of pillows violated the non-aggression principle, and (2) whether stopping the fight would violate the non-intervention principle.


One Objectivist insisted that dropping a nuclear bomb on the combatants in order to prevent the proliferation of pillows in the hands of anarcho-fascists would be moral -- unless it were done for altruistic reasons.